Stay away from my athletes!!

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An Open Letter to Club Coaches: A Professional Request with a Firm Reminder

Disclaimer: I coached club for over 20 years. I still hold deep respect for many club coaches and count several as close friends. This letter is not about them. This is directed toward those who continually overstep professional boundaries.


Dear Club Coaches,

I write this with respect for the work you do—but also with unwavering clarity:

Please stay away from our athletes during their high school season.

You are welcome to attend games. Truly. Many of us appreciate seeing club coaches in the stands supporting their players. But that support quickly becomes interference when it crosses into critiquing our coaching decisions, questioning our lineups, or offering unsolicited analysis about how we run our teams.

When that occurs, it doesn’t simply undermine us—it places undue pressure on the student-athletes. Unlike feedback from parents or peers, your words carry significant weight. These athletes admire you. They want to impress you. And during a demanding high school season, your offhand comments can become a heavy burden they never needed to carry.

What troubles me most is when certain club coaches go beyond commentary and begin advising athletes to leave their high school program altogether in search of “better exposure.”

To put it plainly: that is wildly inappropriate.

If exposure is needed, that is—quite literally—your role during the offseason.
That is what families entrust you with.
That is what they pay you for.
And that is when your influence can be valuable, appropriate, and productive.

High school coaches, on the other hand, work with these athletes daily for months. We see them as students, teammates, leaders, and developing young adults. When asked, we are fully capable of offering guidance on college opportunities that fit them academically, socially, and athletically. We do not charge for that support. We provide it because it is part of our responsibility and because we genuinely know these athletes—not just their stats or highlight clips.

Many of us maintain relationships with former players years, even decades, after they graduate. We attend their weddings, meet their children, write their job recommendations, and watch them grow into successful adults. This level of connection comes from a role that extends beyond sport—it is mentorship, community, and continuity.

I say this not to devalue what club coaches provide, but to highlight a crucial distinction:
High school athletes are not seasonal clients. They are members of a community we care deeply about and remain connected to long after the final whistle.

So here is my professional request, delivered with firm conviction:

During the high school season, allow us to do our work without interference.
Allow the athletes to focus on their team, their school, and their development in this environment.
And trust that the skills and confidence they build here will only elevate what they bring back to you in the offseason.

If we each remain committed to our roles, and respect the boundaries that come with them, the athletes will benefit most—and they are, after all, the reason any of us coach.

Respectfully,
A Long-Time High School Coach Who Has Reached Their Limit with Overstepping Club Coaches



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